Spin around
Dancing white gown
Petticoat promenade
Winds me around a dancing white gown
White ribboned hair
Brushes cheeks with breeze
Perfumed skin permeates
Air breathed in heavily
Whirls me around her dancing white gown
A touch of her hand
Softly, slowly captures me
The chill up her arm
Enraptures me
While turning around with dancing white gown
Do you like my new poem?
I wish you would use punctuation ... it's hard for me to understand where thoughts begin and end because there is no sentence breaks.
It's pretty though.
Do you like my new poem?
Whoa! That's awesome! You should keep writing and try to get some published!!!
Do you like my new poem?
It is beautiful and romantic. You paint a gorgeous visual and tactile picture with your words.
Such gentle, sensitive work I would not expect from a man.
Bravo.
Do you like my new poem?
I like it!!
Much better than most of the trite you find on here.
Do you like my new poem?
man, oh, man, them nights in Malaysia just came back to life... thank you... Johor Baru, Kuala Lumpur, Penang...
Do you like my new poem?
Excellent! So much better compared to the nonsense that I just read from someone else.
Do you like my new poem?
I was like hmm..
but now I'm like *WOAH
I like it.
No really, it's good.
Do you like my new poem?
:) This is nice, I didn't think it was so hot in the beginning but it's rather lovely, actually, the repetition was pulled off rather well. Most I've seen (submitted here) don't get away with it, but this I enjoyed. I had the image of white falling blossoms in a forest clearing and twirling white gowns, very serene and calming. When a poem with limited imagery can still give the reader a powerful image, it's noticeable.
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Keep writing!
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